Chuck McCummingham and the Defenders of the Earth: S1E1: Population Crisis!
In the year 2350, there was a man named Chuck McCummingham whom lived in Jupiter as an accountant. Living a boring life, he ventured for something exciting... but he never expected this! One day, a scientist working for the government magically sent him to an alternate reality! Awaking from a slumber, Chuck McCummingham developed the sacred powers of bullshittery, and with his newfound powers, he decided to form a group of heroes!
AJ: Child master of skateboard wizardry. Chuck: The most patriotic African in the world. Vivica: The girl. And finally, Carl: 4-time food-eating contest winner! These are the members of THE DEFENDERS OF THE EARTH!
AJ, falling of his skateboard, looks towards Vivica. "Yo Wazzup Chuck?" He yelped.
Vivica, looking back at AJ, replies, "I need someone to go to the school dance with me...." She then saw his slight wound and gasped, "Oh my god AJ, do you need a bandage?"
"No way! It's all fine." AJ replied.
Suddenly, Chuck McCummingham arrived from nowhere. "Where the hell did you come from?" AJ shockingly replied.
"What do you mean? I was always here!" Chuck firmly stated, confused at AJ's bewilderment.
"Not 2 seconds ago! You just popped into frame. What the hell?" AJ screamed.
"Oh. Well anyways, did you know that 70% of untreated wounds will become infected and lead to severe health risks? Put on a bandage and you might just have a chance to save yourself in the future!" Chuck lectured.
"Please shut up about statistics! Just because some people got a little boo-boo infection does not mean I will have it myself."
"You are really irritating me right now! JUST PUT ON THAT BANDAGE!"
Vivica handed Chuck a Hello Kitty bandage, in tears of the argument that perused. Chuck softly put on the bandage on AJ's wound, and stated, "There. Now all better!" Chuck McCummingham AWAY!" He then flew away to his lair, leaving no trace of his presence.
"I'll tell ya something, Vivica. I am surely sick of that Chuck McCumminineinalhan guy. He's all about statistics and stuff. I just wish I can punch him in the face." AJ stated to Vivica as they walked to Carl's house.
Vivica looked back and replied, "Well, he's just doing what's best for us." When they walked closer, they remained silent, as if they dreaded what was to come. They have never been there, as they only met him in a food eating contest. So it was surprising to both of them when the building entrance stated, "Ms. Antagonist's Foster Home for Real Children."
"Ms. Antagonist's Foster Home for Real Children?" Vivica whispered.
"Umm... who are you talking to?" AJ smirked.
"You. Duh."
"Why would you need to say that out loud? I CAN READ!"
Suddenly, a frail old lady appeared and greeted, "Oh, it's you kids. CARL!" She screamed Carl's name loudly, and all the kids heard the noise.
"Oh! I'm Carl!" A young kid said.
"But I'm also Carl!" A second voice emitted.
There was an inaudible commotion from the room, and AJ glanced at the 65 children looking at her. "Are... are these all your children, Ms. Antagonist?"
Ms. Antagonist stared at her. "No. Those are just all the Carls'."
Suddenly, Chuck McCummingham appeared, looking at the children. Gasped, he screamed, "Why does this keep happening?"
Ms. Antagonist stated, "Well, when mommy and daddy make whoopie-" She was interrupted by AJ.
"There's nothing wrong with a few children." AJ stated.
"If there are too many children, resources will be limited, thus our economy and society will fall. I recommend that families should only have 2 children."
"But I'm the youngest of my 3 siblings...." AJ whispered, before breaking into tears.
"Wait. You have 3 siblings?!" Chuck screamed. "You need to know-"
"It's up to me to make that choice, not you." AJ sniffled.
"That's it. I've had it with you." Ms. Antagonist walked away, and Chuck pulled out his gun. He then shot AJ dead. Vivica screamed, "You monster!"
"But he was ruining the environment. I had to save it from him." Chuck stated.
"Umm... okay." Vivica sniffled, when Carl found the two.
"Hello Vivica and Chuck! How's it been?" Carl stated.
"Is this your orphanage?"
"Umm... it's a foster home."
"Yeah yeah whatever, We need to save this population crisis. You see, 3 people are born a second. I need your help in saving the world! Quick, come with me to my home planet, Jupiter, and help me sort out this issue."
"Not if I have anything to do with it...." Ms. Antagonist stated and walked away.
The group walked away from the foster home and Chuck stated, "We're nearing our rocket ship. Look! I can see it right now!" He pointed to it: a white, beaten down van. "I have candy! Now enter inside!"
The Jupiter cops crashed down to the base. "WE'RE THE JUPITER POLICE. YOU ARE UNDER ARREST, CHUCK MCCUMMINGHAM, FOR THE ILLEGAL POSSESSION OF 13 EARTH CHILDREN." They escorted the children away from the pedophile and sentenced Chuck to life in prison.